It’s that time of year when it hits me again – a sense of overwhelm, a kind of despair. The weather is cold, I can’t get my washing dry, and I feel a bit sad about the months of winter gloom that lie ahead of me.
I’ve called it the ‘mid-year blues’ and now that I’ve come to expect it, I am not so surprised any more when I get to June feeling a bit blah. (It’s also the centre of school-report writing time, which is a big deal in our household – my husband not only has to write his own school reports, he has to proof-read the reports of the entire Maths Faculty for his school. Fun times.)
Anyway, I’m wrapped in my Oodie and I’ve got my Ugg boots on, so I’m going to try and explain my strategy of getting through the mid-year blues, however they might appear to you.
WHY DO I FEEL STUCK?
First of all, ask yourself the questions: ‘Why do I feel stuck?’ (Or sad/lonely/unfulfilled/down?)
Figure out if you are being impacted by your environment, your health, or a lack of space to think/be/feel. What is the cause of your mid-year blues?
Identifying the cause may help you to create the antidote, especially if it’s something where you can take a specific action to overcome it.
For example, if I am feeling blah because it’s too cold to exercise in the morning (hello minus 4 degrees), perhaps I could do a walk in the middle of the day or even join an indoor exercise class (I have no idea where to even start with that idea, but I’ll just leave it there).
But if my blues are there because I’m struggling with the current stage of my kids’ development (Read: I don’t like the feeling of being lectured by my pre-teen), I might need to find some new communication strategies by doing some reading and research or talking to a counsellor.
WHAT WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?
I just gave a couple of ideas in the above example about actions that might link directly to the cause of the mid-year blues, but I also want you to ask the simple question: what can I do that will make me feel better?
- Could you do an activity that you enjoy doing – some baking, a craft, or catching up for coffee with a friend?
- Could take some action on something that has been bugging you – for example, if there’s a part of your house that needs a bit of TLC, or a cupboard where everything falls out every time you open it. Fixing this issue might make your days feel merry and bright!
- Do YOU need some maintenance? Is there an appointment you’ve been putting off that would make all the difference in the world if you just made it happen? (Think medical, waxing, hairdresser, financial planner, etc) What do YOU really need right now?
GET MOVING
Part of getting unstuck is to actually get moving. This is sometimes the hardest thing to do, because it’s easy to make lists, but more difficult to get out of our comfortable wallowing in the blues. Because even though you feel yuck, it just feels harder to take action. (Maybe that’s just me) The most important thing to do here, then, is to focus on the feeling of what it will be like once you have taken the action – will you be relieved, renewed, refocused, ready-to-go?!
Some tips for unsticking yourself:
Decide on an action and write it down.
- Plan your timing, and if needed, plan your reward. (The thing you’re doing might be the reward in itself, but if you are decluttering your wardrobe or patching a hole in the roof, you might need a bigger incentive).
- Ask someone to help – you might need someone who keeps you accountable by checking in that you’ve done it, or you might need someone to keep you company while you’re taking the action. Sharing your goal means you are WAY more likely to achieve it!
- Get started. Set a timer for five, ten or fifteen minutes and take the first step. Remember that you might hit some resistance really quickly – focus again on the ‘getting it done’ feeling and keep your commitment to yourself!
When you follow these three steps, you’ll finish your day feeling more hopeful that Spring will come again.
And you will have taken an action that meets a need, whether it’s to fill your cup or to overcome a problem area in your life.
