How to Win at Motherhood

I’m not sure ‘winning’ and ‘motherhood’ often go in the same sentence. If you’re like me, there’s an awful lot of days where I feel like I’m losing… losing sleep, losing sanity, losing money, time, personal space, etc, etc. But of course, that is offset by the incredible fulfillment that we get from loving our family – our tanks get emptied and filled so often in the daily routines.

But how often do you feel inside yourself that you are winning at this motherhood gig? What do you tell yourself about all of the hard things and struggles? I remember the endless days where the self-talk churning inside my head was ‘I’m a failure, I’m a failure, I’m a failure’.

It’s sometimes difficult to feel positive when the days are rolling on and you feel stuck in the current season, so today I want to share a few small thoughts about how you can start to win at motherhood, too.

Remember that LOVE is your motive

It’s really tough when you’re in the supermarket and your little person is screaming the house down because you’ve said no to a toy or a lolly. But your reason for saying no is to teach them moment-by-moment about the values of contentment, delayed gratification, and looking after your health.

It’s difficult when your baby is crying and you feel frustrated because you don’t know what else to do. But your irritation at the crying is caused by the fact that you are programmed to respond to your baby’s cry and want to soothe them. Your heart is full of love for your baby, and it’s hurting you too, when you can’t solve the problem.

Remember that the choices you make, even when they are to discipline your child or to put a rule or boundary in place, are coming from a heart of love that longs to protect and nurture this child. You are ruled by love.

Give thanks for the moment, but have a vision for the future

The days seem so long sometimes. The season of nappies and feeding seems so long; the season of toilet training; the season of whatever their favourite movie or TV show is at the moment seems to go on forever!

The way to attack this feeling is to find things to be grateful for in the moment – to notice and appreciate the little things.

And it’s also to look forward and create some milestones for yourself. The season will change, your child will grow. One of the milestones I looked forward to was when I no longer had to wash my child’s hands after using the toilet: it would show that they had achieved that milestone and were working towards some more independence!

Looking around with gratitude and looking forward with hope will help you to win.

Realise that Baby Steps count

Whatever you are working on in yourself at the moment – whether motherhood has brought up some character flaws that you thought you’d dealt with or hidden away (anger issues, self-doubt, self-control), or if it’s just feeling like you’re being left behind in some area of your life – know that there is usually a way to work on it, but you might find yourself able to only take baby steps and not the big leaps and bounds that you’re used to.

Depending on your season of motherhood and the roles you carry in and outside of the home, you probably don’t have hours and hours left for self-reflection and development.

But baby steps count. Maybe you want to study again – baby steps count. Maybe you need to exercise more – baby steps count. Maybe you have realised that your relationships have struggled a bit in this season – baby steps count.


Keep hoping, keep learning, keep walking.

You are a strong mother who is going to win at motherhood.

About The Author


Tanya lives in Canberra with her husband and two sons. She is passionate about helping women to live fulfilled, purposeful lives. She enjoys reading, cooking, craft and creating memorable moments for her family.

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